Pandora Moon- Paradise
by Jabi07
Summary: Pandora Moon comes home to America to help Effy deal with the death of Freddie, but soon realises Effy has left Bristol but has it been an entire wasted journey?


When I was a Little Girl I had all these Plans of what I would do with my Life and how I would travel and see the world, But as soon as I got into my Teens that dream slowly faded after all I am completely Useless! When I was out in America it was like living in a dream absolute Paradise! but then as quickly as I was settling in there life had other fucking plans for me and my friends that fucked up everything and the lot of us for that matter! I couldn`t stay away from home knowing that Eff needed me knowing how lost and alone she would be feeling! So I arrived back home my Mother looking disappointed every time she was near me, but she wasn`t the only one!

"Pops, your back!"

"Oh hello Panda!" I smile happily at Cookie and JJ glad to finally see some friendly faces, it was just us three in the pub which was unusual as I thought that Naomi and Emily might of came as well,

"Just us then?"

"Yeah sorry Pops been a bit fucked lately...we did try convincing people but was no use!"

"What even Eff?!" They both flashed a sad look at each other JJ fidgeting uncomfortably,

"Has something happened to Eff?!"

"Oh no pops it`s just that she has moved away!"

"What?! Where?!"

"Cardiff. To live with her brother!"

"Oh...but I came back...for her!" They both smiled sadly at me Cook wrapping a arm around me while JJ hurried awkwardly towards the bar to buy me a drink. We both sat down at a corner table Cook didn`t seem quite the same boy as when I left for America! seems like a piece of all of us is missing without Freddie!

"Cookie, I`m sorry about Freddie!"

"Oh uh thanks pops but you really don`t need to!"

"Well if ever you need to talk i`m here yeah same applies to you JJ!" I say as JJ sits at the table and joins us, "Its alright Panda my mum sent me to a nice councillor to talk to!" me and Cook raised our eyebrows at JJ,

"Oh right ok then!"

"Besides pops we have to try fucking surviving without Freds now don`t we!" I sigh and look down my eyes starting to stream with tears, guilt clinging at my stomach making it tighten,

"Pands, sorry if I upset you darling?!" I looked up seeing Cook frowning with concern,

"It`s not you...I am so sorry...I should of been here for the Funeral and during your trial!"

"Hey your fucking here now pops and that all that matters!" We stayed there for a few ours before we all headed over to Cook`s flat rain pouring down us making us all slightly shiver, so I was relieved as soon as we entered his warm cosy flat,

"Just make yourself at home Pops!"

"Thank you Cookie I will!" I sit onto the sofa a tiredness overwhelming me as my eyes fought to stay awake. I must of dosed off pretty quickly cause I dreamed of Eff and Freddie they were both talking to me but I couldn`t hear the conversation, and eventually they slowly started to fade,

"Eff! Freddie! Come Back don`t leave me!"

"Pands!" I stirred awake to see Cook kneeling in front of my his hands stroking my hair,

"Where...what is going on?!"

"You were having a bad dream Pops but it`s alright now i`m here for you!"

"Yeah...I saw them...they were going to leave me!" Cook pulls me into him and held tightly onto me as I sobbed uncontrollably unable to control my emotions and the pain I felt deep inside of me. Cookie held me until the Morning both of us not wanting to let go off each other needing comfort,

"Cook...I feel so lost...I want us all here together...how it should be!"

"I know Pops but that will never happen will it!"

"Why not?!

"Pands...you know why darling!" I stood up outraged and frustrated at my Mates lack of eagerness to spend more time with each other!

"well if you won`t do something then I will!" I rush out the flat ignoring Cooks crys of protest as I determinedly made my way to the Fitches House,

"Oh uh Panda Hi!"

"Hiya Katie! Nice to see you how`s everything?!" she frowned at me her glare sending shivers down my spine,

"You did not just ask me what`s wrong!" I awkwardly shuffled feeling uncomfortable,

"Well what is it you actually want Panda?!"

"MY FRIENDS FUCKING BACK! CAN`T YOU ALL FUCKING SEE IT FREDDIE IS FUCKING TURNING IN HIS GRAVE AT US ALL!" Katie coldly slammed the door into my face which was a clear sign that I had hit a nerve with her. I walk home exhaustion hitting me from all the emotion and hassle, My mum rushed out to meet me in the hallway wrapping her arms around me,

"Pandora there you are where have you been?!"

"Oh out...I told you anyway!"

"Panda manners please!" I shrug my shoulders and walk pass her to exhausted for her hysterics,

"Pandora Moon I`m talking to you get back here now!"

"I will speak later Mum im to tired!" I blocked out her ranting as I made my way into my bedroom. I lay huddled deep under my covers tears falling down my face as I thought about Eff my heart ached missing her and wanting nothing more than to speak to here! Why is it that Cookie and JJ are the only ones that actually want to be around me and actually understand how i`m feeling! My phone suddenly buzzed inside my pocket making me jump slightly,

"Pands, You alright?!"

"Not really Cookie...nobody wants me around!"

"Thats not true I certainly want you around so does our JJ!"

"Yeah well everone else dosen`t...Katie had a right go at me!"

"I know she phoned told me for us all to leave her alone!"

"Oh...but we are mates!"

"Yes we are...where are you pands?!"

"Mine."

"Right we are on our way!" Cookie hang up the phone, as I lay back and closed my eyes my thoughts whirling around my head. I sat on the Couch watching Naomi as she chugged down her glass of vodka and refilling the glass, we have both shut ourselves off not really sure what to do or to say anymore! My mobile goes off again and as usual it`s JJ ringing me, normally I would speak to him for hours on the phone especially since that Lara cow broke his heart! but lately my mind has been so fucked watching my Girlfriend drink herself into a mess! she dosen`t realise what damage she is doing and how painful it is watching her breaking down and passed out every night. It all started the night we buried Freddie, she went straight into the pub and continually downed the booze, I also noticed that the moment that we found out he was dead Naomi`s eyes become dull and blank as if all the light had been sucked out of her! I have tried talking to her about it but everytime I mention his name she turns on me in anger telling me to "Fuck Off". I look down at my phone screen and sigh before pressing end call.

"Naomi I`m off out! don`t drink anymore!" Naomi as I expected ignored me as I hurtfully grabbed my jacket and hurried out the door, I climbed onto my bike and revved the engine before driving off down the street unsure where I would go. I walked through the park, watching children running around giggling and completly enjoying life unaware of the pain thats in store for them when they get older! I pull out my phone and text JJ,

_"JJ Really sorry for ignoring you! hope your alright...I need some cheering up meet me at the park. Love Emsxx" _she pressed send and placed the phone back into her pocket unsure what to do now! her and Naomi hadn`t been right for a long time now but for some reason she still felt this connection with her, even though she was sure that Naomi didn`t! Naomi was deeply affected and it wasn`t just the death of Freddie something else seemed to have bothered her! maybe it was seeing the state of a bloodied Cook in the Hospital shaking with tears and anger, greive hitting every part of him!

"Emily?" JJ sat awkwardly beside me, placing one hand onto my shoulder, I smile warmly at my best friend flattered by the sweet gesture,

"You know you can tell me you know. Even though I`m a complete headcase I might be able to help!" I smirk at JJ who smiles back at me making my heart flutter slightly,

"JJ...I honestly don`t think anyone can help me...Naomi dosent love me anymore!" as soon as I said that JJ looked saddened and frowned straight ahead of us,

"Why does this have to happen to us all! You, Me, Effy! we all lost them the ones our hearts long for!" I watched a angered JJ bilwildered by the outburst from unsure how to comfort him, I mean I could`nt tell him it was alright could I cause that was a lie.

Me and Cookie sat in my bedroom, both of us silent not really wanting a conversation but was happy with having a companion! Cook was sat on my bed reading one of my old magazines while I sat against my wardrobe watching him,

"Cook, where did you say JJ went?"

"To the park. Meeting Emilio!"

"Oh right of course!" I sigh and think about Effy and what she was upto right now in Wales, her and Tony have alway`s had a bond that I had alway`s secretly been envious about, Effy had someone that adored her and looked out for her like Tony did was lovely! I`ve never had that so sometimes when Effy spoke of her brother I would nod along and try to casually change the subject.

"Pands, you alright?"

"Not really, missing Eff!"

"Your not the only one!"

"Cook do you still love her?!"

"Do you still love Tomas?!" At the mention of his name I looked away feeling a sharp pain in my chest as if someone had stabbed me, my eyes watered as I looked out my window wondering if he was missing me as much as I missed him!

" Shit Pops i`m sorry that was a low blow!"

"It was. But I forgive you Cookie lives to short for grudges!"

"Yeah it is! Pands you regretting coming back?"

"No. I mean it was a bummer leaving America but I love you guys more!"


End file.
